Read this blog: Diary of Deserter

I hope that you will read this blog. It is by a former Jehovah's Witness who has lost his faith and is decompressing. The blend of poignancy and the frank confrontation with reality is, in its own way, beautiful. It is called Diary of Deserter.
Here is an excerpt:

During the last few days, I've come to the realization that one day, I am going to die, and I will never wake up. For a person that has always believed he will live forever in a paradisaic earth, this is a frightening notion. But no matter how frightening the real world and how wonderful a "hope" sounds, facts do not change. Having a happy ending and providing "hope" does not make a story true. I've also realized how detrimental this belief has been to me, and in turn to all Christians everywhere. The belief that God is going to swoop down one day and "fix everything" spawns a dangerous apathy for the earth we live on now, and the lives we lead now. Why try to save the planet when God is either going to blow it up or make it a paradise? Why should I try to lose weight when God is going to give me a perfect body anyway?

I couldn't agree more. And confronting this truth for the first time must be like standing at the edge of the Grand Canyon, preparing to fall, and not knowing that you are wearing a parachute. Worry not my friend, reason and compassion are your parachute.